Take It To Jesus

Don't lean on anyone because they may not be able to support you, just lean on Him. Don't tell secrets because you may wish you hadn't have told, just whisper to Jesus. Don't trust everyone because everyone isn't trustworthy, just trust Jesus.

Take it to Jesus..

I Truly Am His And Only His

Well now I have a single room on campus and I really don't like the dark. But since I was sharing a dorm for the past two years it makes it kind of hard to sleep with a light on. So now I usually leave my laptop for a little night light (hehehe) and play praise and worship music and I listen to it as I drift to sleep.

But this one night I was having this horrible dream. Every scary person that played in scary movies were in my dreams: the Boogeyman, Candyman, Jason, Freddy Kruger etc. I don't remember what they were saying but all I remember is they were trying get me be on their side. But every time I refused they would go away and another would come. And the really weird part was I felt I had two minds. In my dreaming state I was calm and just thinking about Jesus but I also felt a part of me was awake and that side was in a panic. That must of been the flesh side because I absolutely without a doubt hate scary movies. Then finally I wake up and before I can open my eyes I rebuked the devil, praised God, heard two words from the music on the laptop and closed my eyes and went back to a peaceful sleep.

Dr. Jeffers was teaching how God promises us a sweet sleep and that's exactly what I got, a sweet sleep. Even though I had that crazy dream, God was with me. Maybe God wanted to see who I'd serve I guess. Or maybe He was testing me because I "fearED" the devil because of his outward appearance. God was probably showing me that there is really nothing to be afraid of and that the devil is all talk. That's what he did in the dream, talked. Only God holds the key to my life, only God can influence me, only God can curse or bless me. So why be afraid of the devil? He ain't nobody!

(I had this dream a week ago and for this past week, I was debating if I wanted to share it or not. I was afraid because I didn't want people to think I was crazy or that I am in the hands of Satan. But over the weekend I felt God pressing me to write this. He told me, not to worry what people think. Why should He do such great works for me and I not talk about them? So hear I am writing about the wonderful things that God puts me through. I truly am blessed. Pray for me!

He Went Away And Then He Prayed..

Sometimes it's good to go off on your own to work on you. Jesus often went out to a place of solitude. He didn't just separate Himself and just sit there, He prayed. Prayer is one of the ways many people use to communicate with God. As I look at each instance of Jesus going off to be alone, first something huge happens prior and then immediately after He prayed.

Jesus' choices made Him perfect. Before choosing his disciples, He went into the mountains to pray. The next day Jesus came down and picked twelve. He heard of the sad news of John the Baptist, He went away to a place of solitude and then He prayed. After He fed the 5,000, He parted ways with the disciples for a few and prayed. And before His crucifixion, He again parted ways with the disciples and prayed.

But the Bible never specifies what exactly Jesus prayed about. But if one was to infer taking into account all that Jesus is, He was probably praying for strength, courage and guidance. After all He was here on earth by His Father to set and example for the world to follow after. And since He was sent by the Father, He had to be guided also. He probably wanted to mourn the loss of a friend, express his joys to God about 5,000 people and ask His Father questions. He brought it all to the Highest Power. Jesus probably didn't want to pray in front of the disciples because He wanted to fall apart. How would the disciples feel if the One who is supposed to be leading them looks a mess? Would they completely understand that everyone can't be strong all the time? So Jesus went alone into prayer.

So praying in a place where no one can see or hear you will probably help and most importantly improve your relationship with God, so you can be like Jesus.

I Can Hear You Loud And Clear, I'm Coming!

As I was muttering to the Lord for help and guidance on being tempted and how to free myself, some words ran across my mind. They said, "you have the power in you, but you are scared to let it shine." And those words are very true. I want to live a God-led life where he directs my evry move but from down here it seems so scary. It's like I am holding myself back purposely because I know once I'm taken to another level more responsibility and accountability of my actions are required. It's a psychological thing. I know once I get to that higher place everything will be alright.

So now all I have to do is allow myself to grow, step up and trust Him with everything I have.

Summer Experience

I've been in school for almost a month. Things have calmed down just a bit. I reflect over the summer and it was something else. I had a full schedule everyday. If I wasn't at one place, I was at another. But the one thing that stuck out to me and that I still ponder on is the Step Team that I was apart. It was so much work. Dealing with people is a tough job and I applaud every person that has to deal with people. As I've blogged before (I think) I was in charge of putting the step team together at church. At first everything was almost perfect. We had a lot of people in the beginning who seemed very dedicated. The first show was a success. Then as the months rolled by things began to fall apart. It wasn't a total wreck but it just didn't come out how I wanted it to or how I expected it to. But the good thing is I've learned many lessons.

Dealing with people is something you have to be equipped for, really. I see it as gift and a curse. I was honored to be doing something for my church and for God but the process of actually getting it done was crazy. I can say I was effected by what happened in this group a lot. At the time I really didn't know how to handle it. So I was stressing. I was so focused on whether the pieces were going to be good enough that it became harder for me to remember steps and make them up and simply do what I had to do. It was just crazy. I couldn't wait until we were done with the last show and God's work should never be like that.

Recently, my youth Pastor asked if we could do a show at the end of October. At first I was a little shaky on it and didn't want to do it. I came up with so many reasons why we shouldn't but there is definitely only one reason why we should, God. Once I thought of that reason things began to get a little brighter. Instead of throwing it all away I am trying to come up with ways to make it better. The first time will probably never be right nor the second. But as long as we progress then I am happy with that.

I am excited for everything to just come together and work out for the better.

Caution: It's Stated Real Clear

Be careful how you treat others. Be careful how you act toward others. Caution. Be careful with others. That's something that's been going through my mind for a few months. As I look around me I see how this person treats that person and vice versa. I see how the treatment differs from someone who is hip to someone who is not hip, someone who is a leader and someone who is not a leader, someone who is someone and someone who is no one and so on. Why is that?

Once you get into the hip crowd, become a leader or someone of importance then it's a different story, for me at least. Things become a little cloudy. Am I trying to be like this person? Is this something I'll do? Simply, is this me? They say being on top is so much better than the bottom. But I don't see it. You can be on the highest mountain and still not see everything as you would have if you were on the bottom. From the top you see ant people, you see buildings that were once big way smaller, it's like a big mirage. But for me, the bottom is the place to be. Not that I am settling for less or that I don't want to set and achieve goals of my own but because it's such a better view. You can see that mural painted on the wall and just the pure beauty of things. You know for sure that it is what it is. No squinting, second-guessing or judgement from others. It's right there. Individualism, Independence, Originality, Uniqueness. At the bottom you take more caution. You know at any moment anything can happen. But as for the top "nothing can really happen," until it actually happens.

It's just how you take it all in really. I've been on both sides of the spectrum. I am treated nicely because I hang with this person (top) or I am over looked because I hang with that person (bottom). But if I had to choose sides, I'd rather be overlooked. Again, I am not being pessimistic. I think being overlooked gives you the opportunity to see from all points of view and how things really are. To me, it's a blessing. You just have to know how to handle it.

Just An Observer

It's definitely been a while since I've written. So much has been coming my way I haven't really sorted it out. That alone is a problem. I've been trying to think for myself and fix this because I felt that it was my mess to clean and not God's. But everything is His, both good and bad. So after going through this little war in my mind with myself, I am finally putting it in His hands. I am taking things word by word and day by day. I can't expect people to say what I want them to say and I can't expect my days to go as planned or even try to make my life come out the way that I want it too. As I've written before, it's time to surrender my will and take on God's will. That's a tough thing.

When I first started this blog I said it was basically to help me get my ideas and thoughts out. I didn't come to that notion on my own. It was God. I know it was God. I am the type of person to just sit there and take it all in as far as what people do and how they treat me and others. I just observed. If I have a problem I observe others to see how they handled it. I wouldn't and still won't go ask for advice. So this blog in a way I believe is to help me not stay an observer but to become more involved. And I am beginning to see this spiritually. I go back to where I am comfortable because I don't ask. But in order for me to push forward and stay there until I am supposed to go to the next level: I NEED to ask questions.

There is much more I can blog on but this is all I could formulate at the moment.