I know I've said it time and time again. I've thought about it time and time again. Let go and let God, let go and let God. I thought once I get this in my mind it will be alright. But it wasn't. Today I just became so fed up because I'd put it in the Lord's hands and I'd still end up in the same place. As I broke down and began to cry to the Lord and pray and speak to my God, this same cliche saying was said to me. I told this voice that I did let go but still look at me. I was still in the same mess. But the voice said to me that I really haven't let go. I let go for the moment but strings are still attached. I think I conquered it but when it appears the next time it beats me down even more.
The voice said, "let go." I want to let go and be worry-free but it won't just happen in a split second. It takes time. It's like sky diving. I know if I were to ever do it, I wouldn't just jump of the plane. I would have to build up enough gut and nerve to do it. The voice said, "let God." But I ask myself do I really want Him to? Honestly, I really don't because all I could think about is then and how it used to be. I know better things will come but I am still stuck in the then.
I have the power and only I can make my own decisions. I have to be willing to really let go to let God do what He has planned for me and to get to a higher place. It's all about growth in Christ and the Word and growth within myself.