"You can't win if you don't fight," echoes my inner me. Lately, I haven't been living up to what I've elevated to. I know that I am not the same Jessica who started this walk 4 years ago. I know that certain things aren't acceptable but I still do them. Of course I don't want to do it but I've been letting myself go. And that's a trick of the enemy.
Like all, I realized what I was doing and felt ashamed about it because I felt that I let God down. I didn't approach Him as directly as I used to. This kept giving me reason to do it over and over again. And every time the post-feeling was worse and worse. I began to feel numb. Then my inner me whispers something so sweet, "you can't win if you don't fight."
As my Pastor would say (or someone in the church. I know I heard this from somewhere), it's better to lose in a fight than not to fight at all. And that is the wonderful thing about the Holy Spirit. He is like that boxing coach. When you're getting so badly beaten and that few second break comes along, He is there to give you words that will lift you up.
Experience is the best teacher. So I've put back on my boxing gloves and I am ready to fight and determined to win. If not I will keep going back over and over until it is defeated.