Thursday, December 9, 2010

Nothing Can Separate Me..From Your Love

Have you ever had one of those moments where your Spirit jumps for joy and you feel like you've just came to a new epiphany that has been waiting there for you to discover. Then once you stumble upon it you have that "ah hahh" moment. Well I just had that moment hence me writing this blog. I was lying in bed reading my Bible. I am reading from Romans.I try to read at least when I wake up and go to sleep and through out the day if can squeeze it in (I know that's bad but I am working on it). After all I have no excuse since I sleep with my phone which has the Bible on it. But back to the story. I was lying in bed reading Romans, picking up from chapter 5. In that chapter, it talked about the difference between Adam and Jesus. Adam brought death through his sin and disobedience but Jesus gave us grace and the ability to grasp righteousness which gives us LIFE.

In chapter 6 which is the infamous piece when people are baptized as they come into the Kingdom of God. Honestly, I never realized the strength of these words. I hear them every time a person is baptized but there have been no real meaning to the scriptures until I just read them today. That chapter asks questions pertaining to Adam and Jesus. It's so much to write and I can probably go on for days but read it for yourself! From chapter 6 leading up to chapter 8, these chapters let us know that even though we are born into sin and we have sinful nature, we do not have to abide by it. It lets us know that even though we are trapped in these bodies momentarily we don't have to live as this body wants us to live because as we were baptized we were dying to the old ways. It not only signifies that but it also synonymous to the death of Christ. Before Christ, every one was a sinner, but after He died on the cross and rose again three days later our sins were forgiven. And that is the truth behind baptism.

In chapter 7, Paul (the writer of the book) makes the distinction between our mind and our flesh. The mind serves God while the flesh serve sin. He talks about how sin overcomes us and how it is so enticing. The law by which the mind abides by and the law by which the flesh abide by are contrary to each other, so which law are we to follow are the main arguments Paul is trying to make.

And that is the transition into chapter 8. Between these two chapters is where I jumped out of bed and behind the computer because at the end of chapter 7 Paul makes it seem that we should serve both the flesh and the mind by saying "25..I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. so then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin." But remember from chapter 5 to 8 he makes clear of our death to sin once we were baptized. He doesn't say it as plainly but he does. So with that being said, the law of the mind and of God supersedes that of the law of the flesh and sinful ways. Finally he ends chapter 8 with "38-39..For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, not angels, nor principalities, nor powers, not things present nor things to come, 39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Nothing, not even the law of sin can keep us away from God. Nothing!

Monday, December 6, 2010

Perception, Understanding, Decisions

Understanding is key in relationships. Often times friends, partners and even relationships with God don't work out because the relationship lacks understanding. When you can't see eye to eye on a topic, it is because you are not understanding with the other person's understanding. Take the "love languages" as an example. You cannot love someone how you want to be loved but how they want to be loved even if it isn't appealing to you. It is the same concept. We also studied this in my Theories of International Relations class. It is all about each person's own perception. A person's perception encompasses their unique experience, their character, their way of thinking etc, and after you get passed all of that comes their final decision. But in real life, the process is much quicker and sometimes irrational choices are made.

With God, my perception is ever changing because my experience with Him is becoming greater. I am coming to new realizations every single day. It's overwhelming but I am taking it. When you look to the future and the end result, the pain is not that bad. With a change in experience comes a change in my character.I may not have been as forgiving as I should have but as He shows me forgiveness and all the above, my character molds to fit that.

I never really gave this decision making theory much thought until studying it in class. But it is very much true in our interactions with one another. Decisions to do or not to do something make up our lives just as there are atoms that make up other beings and so forth until you reach a solid product.

Perception shapes our understanding which then shapes our decisions that affect our daily lives.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

God's Law is Supreme

Think about the economy and how countries measure whether or not their dollar is strong. Before the 30s and the Great Depression they used the Gold Standard. After the Depression they used the American dollar to measure dollar worth and that is still how they measure the strength of currency. This definitely correlates with our understanding of anything. The reason they use one base in measuring the strength of dollars is so no one is confused or lost and that they get their full worth when trading. In Proverbs it says to trust the Lord and not to lean on your own understanding. Previous to that verse they spoke on understand and how to obtain it and all. The truth is God’s word and in order to speak truth we have to gain knowledge from the Bible and live by it, even in our relationships. Again, we were created in His image. Also notice that man’s understanding is faulty because in light of the Great Depression they had to switch it up. But with God, in any and every situation, the base never changes. God’s law is supreme.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Thou Shalt Deny Me Thrice

Jesus told Peter that He knew that he'd betray Him. Peter denied it. When they were in the city and people began to recognize Peter as one who had followed Jesus, he denied it three times as Jesus had said he would. The first time he just shrugged it off. The second time he was a bit worried but still insisted he was not with Jesus. The third time someone said to him "you were with him,your speech say so." Then this is where Peter went delirious and began shouting and cursing like a wild man that he did not know Jesus Christ. The cock crew and Peter immediately remembered the words that Jesus had said unto him and he went away and cried bitterly.

We cannot hide, alter or deny our true identity. Although Peter denied Jesus, the people still knew who he was. No matter how much he tried to get away, the people kept coming to him and telling him that he was definitely one of the followers. Peter became so overwhelmed from the people's conviction that he became enraged. He wasn't mad at them but at himself. The thoughts that engulfed his mind were probably the time he had spent with Jesus and all that he was taught. Then Jesus' word came to mind.

Peter had it all wrong. The reason we learn Jesus' word and worship and praise and all of the sort is to help us rise in times of hardship. He remembered Jesus' word after the fact when he should have remembered before. He went out of his mind when he should have prayed for stability. I am not judging Peter because this had to be done to fulfill the Word that was spoken of God but I can learn from his mistakes.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Compassion Toward Me

God is compassionate, forgiving, loyal and all the above. As I read the book of Matthew, the word compassion is used a lot. Jesus always had compassion toward the multitude or to individuals who went after Him. Compassion means to feel sympathy for other's misfortune and the desire to alleviate that suffering. Forgiving means to remit, or cancel a claim on an account. Loyal means allegiance. All of those words only begin to describe what our God is like. He showed compassion on the people by forgiving sinner's sins and casting out demons. He was loyal to us by going to the cross for our sins. He is awesome!

He did all of this as an example to us. We should be like Christ.But we cannot be like Him unless we have those characteristics. The pride and the egos must be put aside in order to be like Christ; humility.

To keep a clean house and everything in order, you must tidy up as you go. If you are doing the laundry you wash everything. And those things that wouldn't come clean you wash again. And if it still doesn't come clean it goes in the trash. You don't kick trash under the bed because it will bring unwanted guests. You wash the dishes as soon as you use them, you dust and so on and so forth. That is the same in our spiritual life. You don't clean it every so often, you clean it all the time. It is a continuous routine. When you see something out order in your house you fix it and your Temple should be held to the same standard, if not more strict.

It takes a humble person to admit that their spiritual house is not clean. Dust is growing, trash is building up etc. As I read more and more about Christ it makes me sit back and think of my ways. I have unforgiveness in my heart but I know I must let it go. The reason I hold on to that is because of fear. Fear to get hurt, fear that I won't be as accepted. But God does not give us a spirit of fear. So to pick away at that which does not belong on my heart I do what I normally wouldn't have done. I say hi, I ask questions and try to involve myself more.

This is a humbling experience because although crazy thoughts run through my head on why I shouldn't open up the lovelier thoughts of God overpower and pushes "me" to the side. God is love and love is all that we should show.

Tithes, Offering & First Fruits

Last Sunday's sermon was about tithes, offering and first fruits and it was pow-er-fulllllll. She said that tithes will break the curse of poverty. The reason for tithes is to keep the House of God running. It's like rent and it has to be paid on time. So if you give to God's house He won't take your finances away. Offering is the blessing. If you give a dollar then you will get a dollar blessing. People get so aggravated when asked to give an offering but aside from the bills, there are leisure activities. Just as women like to get their nails done and guys like to buy splurge so does the church. Churches need money for the activities that you, your children and the other folk at the church like to participate in. The first fruit is the first of what you get. So if you are blessed with a new job and give your first fruits to the House, then you will receive blessing for all to come after.

She stressed the fact that all three were all distinct from one another and you cannot substitute one for the other. We want blessings from God but we don't want to bless Him. How odd!

I haven't always given what I was supposed to and I'd always feel guilty for not doing so. I'd always tell myself, "well He'll understand because I have to pay this bill." That also was an insult because of my lack of faith. God can and will return to you if you give to His Kingdom.I've gotten better and I don't look at it as less money in my pocket but as more money in His Kingdom.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Different Types of Worships

I invited some friends to come to Christian Fellowship with me but they declined. They didn't decline because something about the group bothered or conflicted with their faith but because of the type of people there. Every where we go we will always encounter people who are a different shade than our own or who worships differently than us. But in the end, we are still God's people.

The first time I ever worshipped with people who were different than me was the beginning of this year. At first I thought it was weird. Everything sounded so funny to me. But once I started to look passed than and really put myself in the discussions and what not it really didn't matter. They were just as hungry for God as my Sunday morning congregation at home. So I carried that experience with me to Christian Fellowship.

Worshipping with people who are different than you should not be a reason to NOT worship at all.

Luke 15 Parables

Last night in Christian Fellowship we looked at Luke chapter 15. In that chapter, Jesus told the parables of the lost sheep, the lost coin and the lost son. These parables pretty much mirror each other and although the first two are very short, they have a lot of power.

Jesus started telling the parables in response to the Pharisees thoughts of it being wrong for Jesus to "welcome" and "eat" sinners. In the parables Jesus made the point that even though the sheep wandered off, the coin was lost and the son did so many foolish things, they were all valuable enough for the owner/father to find them. And that is how God is toward us.

In the parable of the lost son, the father welcomed his son back with open arms. He knew what type of life his son was living and that he had blown all the fortune that he gave to him, but he didn't care. From the younger son's point of view, he realized he did wrong and was ready to apologize and as he started to beg for forgiveness the father cut him off and welcomed him with nothing but the finer things. The younger son was filthy because he had been working with pigs but the father still clothed him with the best and hugged and kissed him.

The older son who had stayed with his father wasn't pleased with his reaction to the younger son coming home because he felt as if he should have been celebrated because he stayed home and worked in the fields. The father explained that his youngest was dead because he was out living a lavish life. But is now alive because he recognized his wrong and was home to get things straight. And that was something to celebrate for.

Most of us act like the older son. We think that if we stay in the church then we should receive all of the rewards but in actuality it is the sinner who dedicates/rededicates his life to the Lord who should be praised. In an earlier chapter in Matthew, Jesus explained that He is here on earth to save the sinner. What good would it be for Jesus to save the already saved? That does not add to the kingdom.

(You should read Luke 15. There is so much more detail and awe moments than what I wrote.)

Sunday, October 31, 2010

The Best Youth Group Ever!!

Since Christians are opposed to Halloween we had a youth service tonight. The theme was Hallowed Be Thy Name and a lot of the youth and young adults got up to speak. Some of the common trends for the night were facing fears, getting over sin and God giving us the strength and the mindset to go on. It was a really cool service and is getting better and better. Many of the youths are growing in their talents and it is amazing.They are thee best youth group ever!

Thursday, October 28, 2010

The Heart and Mind

I remember reading this book about the natural heart, the spiritual heart and the mind. The heart and mind should always be in accord with each other. This isn't how it always works out but with enough time and patience they will soon get there. It's like a wound. In its time of healing you still have a risk of infection and other complications. So you have to make sure to be extra careful to let it heal properly.

Right now, my mind is on the Lord. But I can feel the divide between natural and spiritual in my heart. In order to have the spiritual heart and keep the spiritual heart and be guided with the spiritual heart I have to keep my mind fixed because the natural heart is weak and I admit I have weakness in my heart. Matthew 15:17-20 talks about the heart. It is a persons being. The heart is how we act toward others. As ironic as it may sound but it is not what you put into your body but more of what comes out. Eating with dirty hands doesn't make you unclean. True,the germs will go in I guess and just come right back out., no harm done. But having sin in your heart does make you unclean and that can never come out unless you pray to God.

There will be times where your heart tells you to do one thing and your mind another. The heart is strong but the mind is stronger because it has no feeling. The mind is pure logic.As I've learned many times before in every aspect of life, emotions are no good. Emotions are blinders because you don't want to see any ugliness in anything that is supposed to be so beautiful. But with your mind focused on Christ all else does not matter. And with the right relationship with Him you'll receive the greatest, most truest emotion ever that can never be mistaken and that is pure divine love.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Telephone, Tel-Tel-Ah-Phone

I was in the cafeteria with some friends for a quick dinner. One of the girls that was at the table is a freshman and we're still getting to know her. She also is Muslim and so usually at times like these we'd bombard her with questions. My other friend asked her if she had drank, smoked, ate pork etc? She said no to all of them and the other friend said oo that is good. And I don't know how but her religion came into it but we began to make comparisons between Muslims and Christians.

We stated that although both religions have deviants, Christians stick out more. Why is that? As I think more and more about it, most people associate Christianity with sin while they associate Islam with pure loyalty. Is that a good or bad thing? Are we a sinning religion? Although it is a part of our religion and something that we are forever working on, why is it that that is the only part of the message that reaches others?

It is just like that game "telephone." You can say a phrase or sentence and the only thing that will stick and make it around the circle are the negative, silly or not-so-nice thing. We Christians are supposed to carry ALL of the news, good and the bad.Our testimony! We can't leave it up to others to interpret or write it for us.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Mohawks and Some More

As I worked homecoming weekend at my school I was able to sit in on different classes. Seeing as I am a tech person, they needed me in the classrooms to make sure that everything worked properly through out the session time. Since our school does not have a football team because of its small size, our homecoming is geared through recruiting potential freshman and raising funds for the school. So they had classes that a most students wouldn't look at, Art History.

In this Art History class the professor was talking about how gruesome the painting looked but by understanding it, it meant the total opposite. It was a 3-tier of Jesus Christ. The first image was Him nailed to the cross with different biblical characters grieving around Him. The second portion was of Him being put into the tombstone by the people who watch Him being nailed to the cross and then finally at the end you seen Him in the sky. But through out each of this pictures she showed us images of Satan. I don't know her religious background but she was explaining from an art historian point-of-view, not a Christian.

The image that sticks with me the most is the Satan in the background with peacock feathers on his head in the shape of a mohawk.I forgot what it was really called but when she broke it down that was what it was. I think it was called a peacock's crown, I don't know, I'll research it later seeing as I am supposed to be writing a six to eight paged paper. But yes, the crazy fad you see a lot of people walking around with, a mohawk. She described that Satan uses the peacock to symbolize immortality and some other stuff.

Do you think if people really knew what a mohawk symbolized they'd still "rock" it? Do entertainers know its meaning and choose to still wear the style?

As she was speaking about this a lot clicked in my mind.Also her seminar will also stick with me too.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

No Need for Words

Fight and Pray for what you want. Sometimes the thought of prayer seems too heavy. Just meditate on God and He will pull the words from you lips. That's just the kind of God that He is. In those pressing moments is when you know that He definitely hasn't given up on you. Those moments give you the strength to make it through another moment. Pretty much like the woman who washed Jesus' feet or the other woman who merely touched the hem of His garment. Sometimes there are no need for words.

Superman Mentality

Today the guest speaker, Ruth Dailey, spoke about being anchored in God. She only got through three anchors but the one that stuck to me most was commonality. She explained that nothing we go through is new. Someone else in close proximity to us is going through the same exact thing but we don't realize it because of the lack of commication that is exercised.

Automatically I thought about my own "commonalities." Who could I talk to? Who do I trust? I couldn't think of a solid person. Although I had a few, they weren't reliable. I've tried a few times to build those type of relationships but they never come out the way I expected and so on. The feeling was not right. It wouldn't be "real talk" but rather regurgitated things that they thought sounded good. I don't need that.

It is always good to take your own advice every once in a while. I told a friend that he shouldn't try to take on the world with a superman mentality because it only makes things worse for him. I feel that superman mentality forming in my mind and honestly I don't think it is a bad thing. I don't want to build a wall to keep people out but I also don't want just anyone close to me.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Word of God Speak --MercyMe

Christian Humor

Pastor Haize from Maine came to our church on Sunday and brought a nice word. But what I really liked was his humor! He said,

An older couple were driving down the highway and then a younger couple began to drive along side them. The younger girl was sitting right beside the young man underneath his arm. The older lady noticed and said hunny remember we used to sit like that. The older man looked at her and said i am sitting where I always sat.

He compared this to our everyday lives. God never moves from His spot but we always move over and begin to lose sight. It was very eye opening and funny at the same time.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Never Had A Friend Like Him

I don't see many things as I did. A lot of things are different and I don't know if it is a good or bad thing. Maybe I am just too blinded by whatever it is that is blocking my view to tell.I don't see people as I once seen them, I don't cherish friendships like I used to. I just don't care. It's just me and my happiness. It's been like this for a while. Selfish much?! I wouldn't call it selfish but maybe it's all the insecurities bottled up inside. Will she do me like she did her? Will she throw me to the side for him? Where do I stand with him? Do they even matter?

When in doubt, turn to Jesus because He's the only friend that doesn't change. You know that you can count on HIm to deliver. No insecurities even run through my mind because I know He is faithful.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010


I started attending the Christian Fellowship meetings a week ago. So today was my second meeting. This Christian Fellowship is not just for Christians. It is also for those who don't believe, have a bit of understanding etc. Everyone is invited. But today a guest speaker came in and talked on the subject of evil. The essence of his talk was that evil is within and is a characteristic of human nature rather than God wanting us to suffer as a people.

During the Q&A session a guy asked (I am paraphrasing), if God is so powerful and omnipotent then why doesn't He just stop all the evil and natural disasters occurring? Of course it took him a long time to say it so I was thinking well this is how it goes and I raised my hand. The speaker addressed the guy's question but to me it wasn't a simple answer to digest. I really wanted to speak but I shyed away because I didn't want to talk in a room full of people. What do I know? So it was a battle within and I decided not to speak. But the speaker didn't forget about my half raised hand. He pointed to me to "ask a question" and I said "it wasn't a question, it was a comment, forget it." Then he stared. Silence. I said do you want me to share. And he nodded. So I shared my belief with the room. In short, I said, "God made the world so we can live in it. He doesn't want to create puppets out of us. He wants us to do it willingly." The speaker looked at me as if he were thinking and said I'll think about what you just said and I'll get back to you. But I knew he wasn't going to get back to me because time was almost out and how could he think on my question when he had to be focused on the other questions being asked. I didn't let it phase me too much though. And I was right, he never addressed me after he "thought" about my comment. As long as the guy understood where I was coming from, I was cool. It doesn't hurt to just throw it out there.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

It's Not An Option

I was browsing facebook and I seen that someone was loosing hope in God. Then I thought to myself, "how can we give up so easily?" This wasn't the first time that I've seen it either. I am not the best Christian in the world or the holiest but how can one have the audacity to act in such a way. Believe me, I have my faults too!

I've had times where I wanted to give up and leave this world but something on the inside quickly, like the next instant pushed those thoughts out of my mind and filled it with some truth. Could we as soldiers of God really go out like that? Where would I go? It's like taking a test you've studied so hard for and then you reach some questions you've never seen a day in your life and you simply hand in the towel. Is quitting really an option? My God did not raise me like that!

When I reach the end I want the satisfaction of actually going through finishing this race. There will be no room for possibilities or what-if's. Maybe I live too carefree but life is not that hard. It's the decisions that we make that makes life hard.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Patient Endurance

The light never dims, we just move futher away from it. My duty is to keep my eyes fixed upon the Goal no matter how many twists and turns I go through. Who would want to see darkness over pretty faces and beautiful scenery? Who would want to live a lie? After a while the side effects begin to show: depression, anxiety etc.

In my darkness, all I see are His promises.The constant reminder of my belonging. We all know once we are pressed for time and the pressure is on there is no option but to submit and get the job done. We are compelled to move toward the light to complete the task. Once that task is done, we slip back into relaxation until that moment of pressure. "Patient endurance is what you need."

Monday, April 5, 2010

Predestined VS Chosen

Today was our second Bible Study. (I'll tell you about part one later because this sessions is still fresh). The topic at hand was predestined vs chosen and our main text of study came again from Ephesians. My view of these two words were so simple. I thought of the definition of the two words and came up with my conclusion to distinguish the two from each other.

The word "chosen" means to be selected from several and "predestined" means to destine in advance. To someone else's knowledge they believe these words were in essence the same. But to me, many are chosen and only one is predestined. Then the story of how Jesus got his disciples. They were all chosen and NOT predestined. Jesus walked along the streets and picked up men who came across his path. They were chosen, then asked, then made a decision.Something on the inside compelled them to go with Jesus. It was simply a choice for them to follow Christ. Another example was us. Yes, US! I believe every person on this Earth was chosen by God but not everyone chose to follow. Our destiny, God's predestination of our lives is what brought us to Christ. Destiny is something that is to be fulfilled where as a choice is not. Again, if we look at the Bible, Jesus was predestined and not chosen. God had it so Jesus died for our sins. He made it so Judas betrayed Jesus. Fulfillment.

So how do you distinguish predestine and chosen?

Thursday, March 18, 2010


Today I went t on a tour of DC. We saw the rich parts and the poor parts. But my favorite sight was Massachusetts Ave in the northeast (one of the northsides). On that avenue were all the embassies one could ever think of. You seen these beautiful houses connected to each other with a flag attached to each. Each house represented the country it housed by its appearance. It was beautiful.

Then we came back to the church and had a lot of down time I guess because it's the last night here. We played card games and we played that cool game witht he cups. Then we got into some praise and worship and then the night moved forward. The topic was lament. But I wasn't too easy about this. She was saying how she struggled with God because of some of the things that happened to her. Then she read Lamentations chapters one and two where the woman of Zion was crying out and blaming God. But I don't think I have anything to grieve or mourn about. If things happened then God had it so. I can't grieve because that is like second guessing God and considered complaining to me. Yes as humans we feel so many emotions but I don't feel that we should take them out on God.

So my question to you is, should we lament? Do we have reason to? How do you think God will feel and respond to this? Is this appreciation or ungratefulness?

Wednesday, March 17, 2010


Today was definitely a blessing. We were told that we were going to talk with homeless people. I thought that it would be in a shelter or in a pre arranged meeting. But it wasn't. We had to literally sit on the street and talk with them. When I went to talk with the man (with a partner of course), so many things were going through my mind. I thought that he was going to lash out on me and harm me but as time went on, it was so much better. We all became more comfortable talking with each other. We encouraged him to keep it up his faith and continue to hold on. We prayed for him and then left. he will always be in my mind because I never knew how it felt. Sitting with him opened up so many emotions for me because for a second I was in his shoes. He was so shocked he kept saying that we had stopped to talk with him and you can see it all over his face and in his movement.

We also walked around and prayed for the community. People were looking at us and some were making comments toward us because they haven't seen a lot of white people. But the thing that stuck me was we were walking around and this little boy asked if we were Christian. We replied yes and he said I am Christian too and then declared he was apart of our group as well as other kids. It was cool to see that kids would claim Christianity. We just prayed and walked.

This program is helping me to come out of my comfort zone. I've been praying out loud and sharing my views on the topics at hand. It had really been an experience for me.

Monday, March 15, 2010

The Plunge

Adjusing to this place is kind of tough. But I have to make do with what I have. Little by little I have been opening up. Not just to the new ways of experiencing God but also through new people. Most of the people here are totally different from me and I am warming up to that idea. On Sunday there was only a choice between a Black Catholic Church and a multi-ethnic church. The list for the multi-ethnic grouo filled up quick and I had no choice but to go to the Black Catholic Church. I didn't know anything about them except they put the Virgin Mary in their "honors." But as much as I tried to plead I couldn't go to the Baptist Church down the street.

This church was different. It didn't seem like a Catholic church and I was mad about that in a way. They sang and danced and ALL believed in the Holy Spirit and from what I learned that wasn't the case for them (correct me if I am wrong). I didn't feel that they were being true to the meaning of Catholic. And I don't understand if it was right or wrong to think that? But after fighting and what not, God does work! As I began to let go some things go, I've began to become more appreciative of what was happening.

The first track day was themed addiction for me. I went to a house for men who have been sober from drugs for atleast a month and we talked it with him. Then we went out to an Alcoholic Anonymous meeting. I heard them speak. They didn't know that I was visiting. So I heard them speak. A key thing is that those meetings put in them that there is a higher being. They call Him God but at as you understand them. Funny thing was they knew that they couldn't handle it on their own. Then I went to hear a woman who spoke about her being the director of a facility who housed women and men who just came off the street from homelessness and addiction. It was very motivating for me. It pushes me to go forward to contine to want to do this work in my own community.

Last thing was that we had this food rationing scenario where some got food and some didn't. Some had grand meals and others had just enough. It was eye opening. This plunge is definitely something that is needed elsewhere.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Is Jesus Enough For You

The first day in DC has been interesting. There are about 35 college aged students here. It's called the Urban Plunge. Basically what I get from the program is they come here to DC in the urban area and talk about the different aspects of city life and how the people are affected by it. The first day the topic of race came up and how the people on Captiol Hill are trying to change DC completely around. They don't want people coming to Washington to the White Hous and all they see around it is poverty. So they're in the midst of changing that by charging more for rent and building condo. But that's a story within itself.

But there was this lady who talked with us that night. She works for the FDA is DC and her topic was, is Jesus enough for you? It was a good topic. But it could of had a better effect on the audience f she really gave it to us. But that is just opinion. It didn't make me think because that question is something that we all ponder all the time. But I never answered that question until yesterday. My answer was no. I know that Jesus is more than everything and He can supply more than I'll never need or desire but I feel as though I still chase those worldly things. I continue to seek other things to satisfy me and I am sometimes unconsciencly dependent on them too. So now as I realize I do this, I take a step back and check myself.

So we as Christians have to really be on that. We can't say Jesus is enough if we sare still dependednt on other things. Could you really sit back and just take what's handed to you by Jesus? No supplements, just Jesus.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Do Not Save Me

Do not try and save me. I am just floating in the water. I can swim. I am not drowning. Please do not try and save me. I do not need you to. I said I can swim. I got this. You can show me some new strokes and tricks but do not try and save me. You trying to save me will make me start to panic. Then I am going to have to try and keep up with you and swim to your stroke.I am soo good.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Just One of Them Days

Sometimes you just have to get away. Just as Jesus did when he wanted to be alone (wrote a blog on that before). Not so far away where you lose contact but not to close where you're still involved. For me I feel like I am experiencing that right now. I don't want to be close to anyone but I don't want to remove myself either. I just wanna hear what I believe the Lord is telling me without distraction around me and without trying to figure everything out. I am taking some personal days.

I want this new change to stay. I don't want it to slip away so I have to work extra hard to keep it. All else can wait.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Effect, Affect, Who Cares..I Do

Do not let the past AFFECT who you are and as you move forward do not let what you are EFFECT who you are to become. The reason I capitalized those words is because even though they sound the same (or we pronounce them the same), they are not. Affect deals more with emotional influences and effect is the result of something, the end. I know I started out as a sinner and continued to be a sinner even after I went down in the water. But I cannot let those sins keep me from my purpose that God has for me. I can let the guilt overwhelm me or I can let peoples who knew me then tell me now that I am truly not saved or I can simply keep myself back because of what I've previously done to spare myself from those staring eyes. Those are all hidden emotions that I once had.

In that above phrase, I am in the middle. I am on my way to becoming something that I can't even dream of thanks to God. I can just feel it. Change is definitely happening on the inside and it feels great. But I cannot let that great feeling effect who I am to become. I can take it all to the head and soak in it to then become so crinkly that I distort what I was to become or I can merely embrace it until God calls for me again. For right now I have to do what I can for others and myself. I have to show them what God has shown me and spread the good news. I have to just hold on.

That's my encouragement for you. Stand against the tricks of the enemy. He enticed us in our past so it can be carried with us to our future. But the thing is, it can only come with us IF we bring it with us. So let it go. I promise you, once you shed that and you are sitting in the middle of that sentence, it will get a bit easier.

Friday, March 5, 2010

My Satisfation

I thank God for my new phone. It has all those cool apps and one of the first ones that I downloaded was the Bible app. It really does come in handy. I can study from my bed (yes, lazy me) and even while I am on the go. But while some friends and I were going skating, I began to feel some sort of way. It was awkward. We were still in route to the rink and it all just hit me. It's the weekend. On a typical weekend at school people get together and drink, hang out with their boyfriend or best friend, go places that are exciting, party and any other thing you can think of. But in my life none of that fits right now.

So I repeated to myself was, "God is my comforter." I even thought back to how my Pastor had the Deacon demonstrate with how God covers us in our time of need. But I needed more than just a heed. God didn't actually talk to me but I know that He was right next to me. I decided that I'd push those thoughts out of my mind because I am not like the rest of them. I can't compare myself to them because they don't do what I do. Did I mention that I love my new phone. Well I pulled out my phone and used my Bible app and just read a chapter. That chapter (didn't relate to anything at the moment) just made me feel a lot better. I was reading God's word. That was enough for me.

One Hundred: Reflection

I first started my blog because of my youth Pastor. I don't care how old I get, she'll always be my youth Pastor, mine. But I started because of her (copy the "Talia Rivera's Blog" url on the left side). When I read her blog, it blew me away. She was getting way deep and I wanted to do the same. I am not one to speak about me so I started this blog to speak about me, to speak up. I felt that having a blog would allow me to be something that I normally wouldn't be when I am around people. It really has helped me to become a bit bolder in my speech. It has encouraged me to step up and really deal with issues I would normally suppress.

From the first post until now, I feel that my blogging has gone a bit deeper. At first I wrote more Bible-based posts. As time went on, I threw in some life stories, some feelings, some praise, some motivation, some thoughts and some questions. A whole variety of topics. At a point in time, I actually stopped writing (the summer of 2009) because I didn't want people to know what was inside my head and I didn't want them to know me. Then I came back and just kept to it although I did get discouraged again. But it was just a bump in the road and I am over it. Writing this blog has brought so many emotions and thoughts out and right now I'd have to say it was all worth it. I am content.

I write because I love to write about my God and what He is bringing me through both good and bad. Sometimes I am not as blunt on certain posts as I am on others but trust, every post has a story behind it. I love to bring my thinking here so everyone can read it because a lot of people are like me, always wondering and trying to make sense. God is definitely using this blog to get through to people and I thank Him for that. If He wasn't, I wouldn't of made it this far. The times I did try to quit it didn't work.

But I thank my followers for supporting me and I also thank you all for the posts you've posted. They've helped me also. So as I give on this blog, I also receive because my followers each have something that helps on this journey. I also want to that my Pastor for supporting me ever since she got my blog address and for helping me to stay focused on it. And also God for using me, building me up and making me confident with me. He is a great God and there is no one like Him. I pray that He'll just continue to bless others and I through this blog.

Thank you all again. God Bless!

I believe I have truly come a long way in this Christian walk and through this blog.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Ninety-Eight, Ninety-Nine, One Hund....

This is my ninety-ninth post and to me that is important. I like certain numbers and to me they have a lot of meaning. I feel that through everything God speaks to me and sometimes it is through numbers. it's not done like this all the time but say I just bought something from the store and I receive change back and it was in the sixties, I think about my saved life. They say that 6 falls short of 7 which I understand as perfection. I reevaluate myself to see what I am doing wrong. Say I was playing a game and I got a 90-something. When I say 90-something I think of it in denominations like 100, 1,000, 10,000, 11,000, anything. If I fall just beneath these denominations I reevaluate my saved life. It doesn't happen every time a number is given to me, only when I feel that pull in my Spirit is when I'll pay closer attention.

But as you know, I made up my mind to memorize Psalms 51. And if you didn't know Psalms 51 is a passage of TRUE REPENTANCE. At first when it was given to me I did not know why I HAD to memorize it, I just started it. I didn't want to recite it just to recite it. I wanted it to have meaning. So I told myself it was for a time waaay later in life for if I ever sinned. But that time came sooner than expected. It's time to go to another level. It's time to tighten the reigns. But I can't get there without true repentance of the old me. And I say old me because I've out-grown my old ways. I'm letting go of things finger by finger and no lie, God has been standing there until my last finger finally let go and He caught me.

As I memorize each verse, I meditate on it. And verse my verse my Spirit began to weep. As I reached around verse 13 my Spirit did more than cry. And right now I am putting verse 14 into effect. I am proclaiming God reigns forever in this Temple. I understand what God is telling me. Now I just have to trust and I am doing that. It's the new me. So my ninety-ninth post is shedding the old me. The hundredth post will reflect on my writing and what it means to me and 101 and forward (until God gives me another number) will be a definite new me. It's a process and I am trusting the Lord in EVERYTHING I do.

Isaiah 54:17: No weapon formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that rise against thee in judgement thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the LORD.

Sunday, February 28, 2010


Today was awesome. It's nice to spend time with people. When you spend time with people you get a chance to see them for how they really are. Especially when it is unexpected. Just soak in what God gives you. No need to separate the good from the bad. It's already done.

But anyways, today's service was awesome. It was our first youth service in the NEW church. All the youth took over usual duties such as praise an worship and doorkeeping and the Youth Pastor gave an amazing word. He touched on that what youth experiencing tough times and dilemma's isn't something new, if not worse. He talked about how the internet and such is the devil in disguise. The enemy just wants to distract us. But stand tall. When you fall get back up.

Today was a good day.

Friday, February 26, 2010

God Is Our Help

God is the father teaching us to ride a bike. The bike is all the good things God has in store for us. We get suited up with elbow pads, knee pads and our helmets. All of this is synonymous to fasting, praying and Bible study. First He'll put the training wheels on for us. With the training wheels, we can't fall because the extra wheels in the back has the duty of not letting the bike lean to the left nor right. These extra wheels is God giving us a taste of His good things. We know the training wheels are on there but we just sit back and let the wind blow through our hair. No worries, no problems.

Then He takes off the training wheels but He is holding on to the handle bars, helping us. Here, we feel a bit unstable but in the end, we know that He will not let us fall. He's our Father. We start to get the hang of it. We say, "LET GO." He lets go, we fall before we finish the first full pedal. But that fasting, praying and Bible study helped us brace our fall. We then ask for more help. He helps. This time we wait a little longer to say let go. When we finally give the command again, He lets go. But this time He runs behind us. By the second full pedal, we fall. But He also helps to brace our fall still letting the pads serve their purpose. We ask for help again. Then we wait even longer to give the command this time. As we get ready to tell Him to let go, you glance behind you and He already let go and is running behind us.

God is our help. If you fall, just ask for help. He will definitely be there to help you.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

The Jesus Dream

Everything has a purpose. Every single thing, even the smallest things. The seconds make up the minutes, the minutes make up the hour, the hour makes up the day, the day makes up the week, the week makes up the months, the months make up the year and the year makes up a life. You don't want to get to the end of life and figure out that we haven't accomplished anything. I was thinking that while I was in church as my Pastor preached part two of "Why Die?" Not a physical death but a spiritual one.

In the natural life, people feel that if they make it to the end of life being a millionaire or having lived the American Dream then they did a good job. Why die? Naturally, people want to leave this world having accomplished something and their name in textbooks. Why die? To set the bar for people to remember you. That's why natural people die. As a Christian we should NOT die because we are promised eternal life. We know that once we get to the other side of the road or the green grass life for us doesn't stop. So why die? We can create a good name here on Earth and an even better one in Heaven.

Don't just settle for the American Dream which ends after death. Go for the Jesus Dream that continues after life.

Monday, February 15, 2010

New Project

I am super excited. We finally had a meeting to debrief from the BCM conference with the woman who is in charge of the spiritual actions that go on in the school community. We just went around and was talking amongst the six of us (including her), explaining our highs and lows of the conference, and we came to the conlcusion that we want to bring that to the campus. The lady agreed.

So to prepare for that we are going to set up Bible Study classes where we would have a guest lecturer (prefereably a Pastor or Youth Pastor in the area) once a month and in between we would make up the lessons. I think this is a cool idea because when we prepare for the lesson we all will meet before and talk it out and share what we know with each other to make it even better. We also are planning a few events like a Christian Dance Party, actual services at school and visiting other churches.

I never thought that I'd be bonding with my peers outside of church and at that, they go to my school. I am definitely loving it.

P.S and the memorization is coming along great. I am at verse 10 (of Psalms 51 out of 19) and I can recite with very minor mistakes. Yay for me!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

The Proposal

I am going to tell you a story the preacher told us at the conference. He said he had proposed to his wife at 19 years old. It was at the time that he had won a championship ring. So he took the championship ring and put it in a Kay Jewelers ring box and proposed to his wife after church was over. When he proposed she said yes and opened the box. She seen the championship ring on and was rocking it even though it was as huge as a boulder (you should know the size of a championship ring. And on a females hand...HUGE). He then explained to her that later he'll get her a real ring with diamonds and such. But she said she didn't care and that she loved the ring he had already given her. Then he pulled out the ring he described.

Relating to God, the preacher said that it was a test. He couldn't give her the real diamond unless he knew she was going to appreciate it. God cannot give us everything as soon as we ask for it because there would be no value. He has to throw an obstacle at us one day and set us back a couple years for us to get our reward. Without these hardships the things of God will not be appreciated because they come with ease. If we have things the easy way then we'd have no sincerity or passion to get us to where we are going. These tests also produces good character.

So just remember. God is testing us now to get us ready for Heaven.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Psalms 51

I've always told myself that I cannot remember scriptures and so on and so forth. But I came to the conclusion that I can. In french class we have to memorize poems for the pronounciations of words so I can do the same for the Word of God. So here is another test for myself. I am going to memorize the all 19 verses of the 51st Pslams little by little. Before I go to bed I will recite. When I wake up I will recite and then add on a few verses. This will help me a great deal. Not just for points but personally and spiritually.

The reason why I chose the 51st Psalms to remember was because of God. Something on the inside told me to turn here and it was right on the money. Only God can make us pure and restore us to our true and natural beauty. This chapter was a conviction because I felt it in my heart as I was reading it. Now it is time to repent and become better at it. Faith. We all sin but do not keep using it as an excuse. It's ok. God is good and will forgive every one of His children if you have a heart like Psalms 51. Just keep trying until you've mastered it. Repent. Trust me, it feels good to overcome.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Be Bold, Stand Out

One of the things that kept recurring during the conference that kept pulling at me was to be BOLD and to practice, practice, practice. Boldness comes in because I can't be the same as everyone else and get things going at the same time. I can't be that quiet voice in the background. I have to be bold and step waayyyy outside of my comfort zone and do some things that I haven't done. It doesn't matter what my peers are doing. I have to step away from that and hopefully push them forward as well. Be bold Jessica! Boldness!

The second thing was to practice, not that I am not practicing already. I usually get bogged down while trying to juggle sooo many lessons at one time. And I've noticed that. That's some of the reason why I don't write as often. I have to learn something and, practice it and then master it before I write about the next subject. He said instead of reading chapters and chapters to go to the book of Proverbs and pick one scripture a day to hold on to. I think I'll take that up too. And maybe you should to. Read a or some Bible stories and then pick a scripture from Proverbs to hold on to for the day to practice. Hopefully this can help in the memorization department.

I've got so much more stuff from the conference that I am putting into effect now and to share with you all. But for now, you and I are going to be bold.

BCM Conference

I was able to go to this conference held by Black Campus Ministries (BCM). My friend from school invited me to go so I just went. I didn't ask the details of what it was on. All I knew was it was related to church and spirituality and all of that good stuff so I just went. And I am very pleased I did so. College kids from all over New England was there and the theme was "A Lifestyle Worship." They had a main workshop on that topic and I chose that one to be in and the other workshop I went to was called "Personal Mastery."

The Worship workshop gave us tools to help us worship. He talked about how worship comes from the inside through meditation, prayer, fasting and studying and then it will begin to show on the outside. Outwardly we would make it easier to keep God's word plain. It will also teach us to be alone and just listen to God and then finally submission. The other workshop about mastery was about setting realistic goals for ourselves and sticking to them which will take discipline. When he would ask a question about how one feels about one thing a good amount of people in the room could identify.

Then after the workshops we had a chance to fellowship amongst each other. They had a DJ to play some music for us and everyone was just talking, dancing, playing games and having fun. What amazed me was a whole bunch of people was just dancing and praising God in the front of the fellowship space. It was like our own club. They danced with good taste to God's music and was battling each other. My spirit was happy. I was so amazed to see all of this taking place. Then we simmered down and went into service which was also good.

In the service everyone was worshipping, praising and praying to God. I felt out of place because I never really worshipped in front of people outside of my church family. But when I seen everyone else doing their thing I felt a bit more at ease and joined in with my own praise and worship. He preached about how you cannot turn back into a caterpillar once you are a butterfly. He touched on letting go and how this conference is another starting point for us. It was good! Then I went up for the prayer calls they had as well as a lot of other students and it was just good to be surrounded by them. As we went up I could just imagine what they were going through because I am too. We were just up there like we seen each other on a daily basis. It was a good experience and I thank God that He had put me in the midst of all of that.

It's just so much to write. My next few posts will definitely come from this conference. So much was said and touch on that cannot be covered in one post.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

There's No Place Like Home

There is really no place like home. That's all I thought about when I was visting my friends' church today. She's been asking me to come with for almost a year now and finally I decided to go. She is a different denomination than my church but all in all they're pretty much the same. But I was excited to go because I never visted another church before besides going to council which doesn't really count.

We walked in and immediately we went to the balcony. I wanted to sit on the floor because that's where I was used to sitting. But we followed. We sang praise and worship songs, heard selections from the choir, greeted the guests and some more stuff. The whole time I was like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. I kept telling myself, "there is no place like home, there is no place like home." And the classic, "At Bethel we'd do it like this, at Bethel we'd do it like that." I am just so accustomed to the way my church is it felt like everything else was wrong. It was more of going through the motions than actually going to the church to be healed and delivered.

I was a bit home sick. I kept looking at the clock and wondering what they were doing at home. "welp, it's 12:10, praise is worship should be stepping down. 12:40, the preacher should be going up." Surely, there is no place like home. I am blessed beyond measure to have a home like Bethel. Boy do I love my church. Can't wait to get back there and for my friends to visit so we can show them how Bethel does it.


This semester I am taking a few classes on Africa. And is all of the readings it talks about how African history was suppressed for many years because the way they keep their history isn't the same way Americans keep their history. They also bring out the Africans aren't understood by those around them because the people who go there to study them observe rather than learn one of the languages. What they say in Africa may be taken in totally different context here in America, so the language is very important.

I say all of this because I feel very much like the suppressed African culture. People look at me and see what they want to see. When they look at my life or me as a person they make assumptions and judge me from how they would react. As a child of God I understand what I've learned thus far. As a child of God I without a doubt know who is Sovereign and Most High. I understand. Right now spiritually I am in awe at who my God is. I'm dazed. Literally. I am frozen. And naturally it is the opposite. But I know those natural thoughts are those of the flesh and the flesh is that of the enemy. As I sit and meditate, every lesson that is in my head filters through my mind and most of the time I can correlate where I heard this lesson and who taught it. I feel like one of the griots in Africa because I can recall my spiritual life, my history. The griots only share what is important to keep the country going and in tact. They also know all the "secrets" (as they call them) but they never share them.

I am like African history just waiting to be discovered.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Sweet Revenge

As I was taking a shower, I was thinking about if people can get revenge on God. That was a funny thought. I started thinking about that because as I was praying for my friend in Haiti all these weird thoughts were coming to mind, the good, the bad and the ugly. But I continued to pray and when I stopped I asked myself that, "Could someone like me get revenge on God?" I know most people will say the easy and most obvious comeback which is you cannot battle with God. But I will go a little deeper.

In order to get revenge, someone has to do you wrong or hurt you in some type of way. First off, we cannot seek vengeance on God because He never does us wrong. It is usually us who do us wrong. Like the preacher said, God is trying to give us a net of fish but we want to catch them one by one. Just because it didn't happen our way doesn't mean that it was the wrong way. We as human under estimate God and think of ourselves as mightier than He (I feel sorry for those who think like that though). Second off, by getting back at God, he'll get back at you and show you who He really is. Point blank.

The Haiti Earthquake

God is definitely good! Everyone knows about the Haiti earthquake. Most of the people who are close to me parents' are from Haiti and moved here to America. So they have family down there. My close friend went down there to spend time with family before she went back to school. When my other friend called me and told me the news I tried so hard to stay positive but tears began to flow. I searched and searched the Internet to see more about it, nothing. The worse part was my friend who told me the news and I had to work the overnight shift, so our other friend was on our minds all night. I told her we just have top pray and remain positive. We kept calling her cell phone with no success. Then the next day, mid-afternoon, my friend that was in Haiti was able to call her sister to let her know she was safe. Once my friend called me to relay the message, it felt like the whole world just came off of my shoulders. I just praised God!

Don't take anyone or anything for granted because you're not always guaranteed to tell them. Some of what was going through my head was how I never told her what she means to me. Even though we all rocked together in high school and still kept in contact through college, we took it for granted. So I can't wait until she comes back so I can squeeze her and tell them all that I love them. I thank God for them.

P.S make sure you donate some way some how..

Friday, January 8, 2010

Chin Up, Stomach In, Shoulder Back

It is time to start making moves in the Lord. I just have to trust Him and know that everything will work out for the better. If I don't then I would have what we call "wavering faith" and we all know those type of people NEVER make it to the Lord. I just have to keep my chin up and no matter what I walk on, I have to trust God that He will definitely see me through. Whether it means to be without people for some times or to just be plainly unconfortable. It's about spiritual growth. Listen to the voice in my head which I know is my Father.

Honestly, I "fall" for the tricks of the enemey because of the fear of what I will become in the Lord. I falter so I can take those steps backward only to move back into the same spot again. New level. After hearing Dr. Jeffers and him enlightening me through 1 Timothy 1:7, I came to the conclusion that the devil fears what I will become in the Lord. God does not instill fear in His children, only ambition to better ourselves. So I am going to take that and run!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Preach Dr Jeffers, Preeeach

Sometimes we, well I need that extra push and man oh man is Dr Jeffers doing that. When I am being preached and taught to and it really touches the depths of my soul, I can no way no how get it out of my mind. Just like the 2009 conference: The Gathering. Something inside of me will never let me forget that trio. It's like I moved up and when I get discourage those days just replay in my mind to help me stand taller. I won't sink lower than I was on that day and now after Dr. Jeffers preaching these last two day, I think this is my next stepping stone, a challenge to myself.

Today he taught about our sins and how they negate what God is doing and His purpose for his children as a whole. When we sin and do things contrary to God's will, it gives the devil reason to rub it in God's face. Jeffers used the example of a parent raising a kid from birth then at the age of 16 or 17 a stranger comes along and takes your kid that you've raised. The parent is equivalent to God and the stranger is equivalent to the devil. We were all born and come from God and when we come into this world we CHOOSE the other side by doing those things contrary to the Father.

He also taught that the things that we do and what makes our personality and character project who we serve. If we do things out of our own will and feel we can do them on our own and for our glory we are serving the wrong god. But if we act out of love and choose to do the will of the Most High then we serve the Almighty God.

Know who you SERVE!! Do the things of God and live holy. It's time to make a change. Just know that which ever choice you make, right or wrong, God will always be there to see you through. Just trust, believe and have faith. Don't give the devil an opportunity to put our God to shame through our sins. We have to represent out Father, it is bigger than us.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Transformation Before Translation

I have to shout this man out. Dr. Gerald Jeffers is THE man! You all should youtube him or something. He speaks so much truth that it is scary. I even contemplated whether I should go to the service or not. But I went because so many things were telling me to go. So I went and the word was awesome. It was "Transformation Before Translation."

Simply put he spoke on how we should be transformed BEFORE we are translated. Translating is taking from one form and putting it in another. So what he was getting at is God cannot translate us in better and new situations until we are transformed because we will NOT be able to withstand in the situations we wish to be translated into unless we have the right heart and mind. If we don't then where we want to go would be pointless because we'll be right back at square one. Get it?

So we have to make up our minds to be transformed so our situations can be better. We have to LET God do what He does in us to be transformed. Instead of fighting the enemy we tend to fight God then blame it on Him because we believe in our minds that He HAS to make everything right. In order for God to be obligated to do something for us we have to first commit ourselves to Him and prove ourselves. We cannot reap without sowing.

But check Dr Jeffers out. I KNOW he is on youtube and stuff.