What-If...?

Sometimes I think to myself what would life be like if I wasn't saved. Would I have an easier time saying the things I don't say now? What would my Sunday's look like? Would my attitude be out of control? Would I still be in crazy relationships? Who would I talk to? In general, where would I be in life? What would I be doing with myself? Would I have ups and downs like I do? Would life be easier? How would I feel about God? How would he feel about me?

But the truth of the matter is I can't see myself without God. He's had such an impact on me and I am just realizing it. When I do things He is always in my thoughts (as I mentioned in another blog) and I feel that my decisions are more rational. I can't do the things I used to do. The reason being is not just because God said not to but it lays heavily on both my spiritual side and my natural side. When I was on public transportation this old guy was talking to me. If I were my old self I would of been rude and told him about himself. But since I have some of God in me I thought I could be entertaining an angel. So I just sat there, listened to him and kept on smiling. He complimented my smile and he finally got off of the bus. Then I thought to myself, "he probably wasn't even and angel." I thought that because nothing extraordinary happened. But maybe he was an angel and he was just there for my entertainment and for me to smile. But If he wasn't I did a good job.

God is simply God and nothing could ever take His place. Not unoccupied Sundays, the things a Christian can't do, NOTHING.. What matters now is that I am saved. I have to go through the bad to get to the good. And it will all be worth it in the end.